Dealing with a shy child

Shyness in a child is a personality trait that can be a great asset, but also a handicap in some cases and is partly dependent on how it is handled. One thing that’s for sure is that shyness is not a fault to apologize for.

Many shy people tend to be private people and attentive listeners. Contrary to the truth, many people believe that shy child must have low self esteem. A shy child with a high sense of self worth is happy, polite and will make eye contact but won’t talk as much as the extrovert will. Shy children may be cautious and slow in warming up and interacting with strangers. This trait tends to be help in protecting inner peace and makes shy children great company, especially when they warm up and become comfortable around a person.

Shyness can also be a handicap; an indication of an existing problem, especially if the child seems extremely withdrawn and has behavioral problems. Such a child when observed carefully may have fear and anger that needs to dealt with. If shyness is used as an excuse not to develop or exercise, social skills or as a protective shell against skill development, then it may be a handicap that further weakens a child’s self esteem. In such a case, building the child’s self esteem is very important.

Shyness can be a passing phase in children. A bubbly two year old child can change into a shy child after sometime. This normal because children between ages 2 and 4 generally experience a phase of anxiety to strangers. This is despite having been spontaneous before that.

Whether it is a passing phase or not, here are a few tips to help in your interaction with the shy child:

• Hug your child and realize that you are blessed with a gentle and happy child who is probably just cautious and slow in warming and forming new relationships.
• You can’t stop a child from being shy. Instead of pulling too much, focus your attention on providing an environment where the child is comfortable and let their personality develop. Pulling too much will only make the shy child more withdrawn. Let the child know that polite behavior around strangers is what is expected of her. As she gets comfortable with the person, she will interact more freely.
• Though some children are natural performers, others may not be as comfortable publicly showing a skill. Don’t put the child on spot by insisting that they perform in public if they aren’t comfortable. Talk to the child about performing first in private instead of springing the request on them in public.
• Sometimes a parent may cause a child to become withdrawn if they are too domineering to a point where a child doesn’t get a chance to express themselves. The extroverted parent sometimes needs to be more reserved for the shy child to be more open and outgoing in their presence. Rather than always speaking for the child, let the child express themselves when they want to and show them support when they do it. For more information about infant child care please call us.